Confucious Say
Dont Ask me where these came from, i just got em off someone on mIRC
I realize there are repeats, i am in the process of weeding them out
For the Time Being, i recommend this material as mature reading only, until i get to the sorting/slashing process
Confucious Say: Man who fart in church sit in own pew
Confucious Say: Man who bounce woman on bed spring this spring have offspring next spring
Confucious Say: Ok for Shit to happen, will decompose...
Confucious Say: Baseball wrong. Man with 4 balls cannot walk
Confucious Say: Secretary not permanant fixture until screwed on desk
Confusious Say: If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people
Confucious Say: Rape no good. woman run faster with dress up than man can with pants down
Confucius say: Man who marries a girl with no bust, feel low down.
Confucius say: Man who masturbate into cash register, soon come into money.
Confucius say: Man who masturbate only screwing himself
Confucius say: Man who mess with steamroller flat out lose!
Confucius say: Man who polish knob play pocket pool.
Confucius say: Man who pull out too fast leave rubber.
Confucius say: Man who pull out too soon get hit in rear end.
Confucius say: Man who pushes piano down mine shaft get A flat miner.
Confucius say: Man who put cock on stove have hot rod.
Confucius say: Man who put cream in tart, not really a baker.
Confucius say: Man who put face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say: Man who put foot in mouth get athlete's tongue.
Confucius say: Man who put hand in pocket feels cocky all day
Confucius say: Man who put head in dryer bound to get sock in the mouth!
Confucius say: Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
Confucius say: Man who put rooster in freezer over night have frozen cock.
Confucius say: Man who read woman like book, prefer braille!
Confucius say: Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Confucius say: Man who scratch butt should not bite fingernails!
Confucius say: Man who screw girl on hillside not on level.
Confucius say: Man who sink into woman's arms soon have arms in woman's sink
Confucius say: Man who sit on hot stove will rise again.
Confucius say: Man who sit on tack get point!
Confucius say: Man who sleep in cathouse by day, sleep in doghouse by night
Confucius say: Man who sleeps with old hen finds it's better than pullet.
Confucius say: Man who smoke pot choke on handle.
Confucius say: Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
Confucius say: Man who speaks with forked tongue should not kiss baloons.
Confucius say: Man who stands on toilet seat is high on pot.
Confucius say: Man who step in it often say it.
Confucius say: Man who stick face in punchbowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say: Man who sucks nipples makes clean breast of things.
Confucius say: Man who take lady on camping trip have one intent.
Confucius say: Man who tell one too many light bulb jokes soon burn out!
Confucius say: Man who walk through door sideways is going to Bangkok.
Confucius say: Man who who put cock on stove have hot rod.
Confucius say: Man with an unchecked parachute will jump to conclusion.
Confucius say: Man with athletic finger make broad jump.
Confucius say: Man with forked tongue not need chop sticks.
Confucius say: Man with hand in bush not necessarily trimming shrubs.
Confucius say: Man with hole in both pockets not feel too cocky!
Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket feel cocky all day.
Confucius say: Man with holes in pockets feels nuts.
Confucius say: Man with no legs bums around.
Confucius say: Man with one chopstick go hungry.
Confucius say: Man with tool in woman's mouth, not necessarily a dentist.
Confucius say: Many men smoke but Fu Manchu.
Confucius say: Mind's journey begins with a single Why?
Confucius say: Never raise hands to angry child, it leave groin exposed.
Confucius say: Never trust men with short legs, brains too near the bottom.
Confucius say: Never trust woman who uses phrase eager beaver
Confucius say: No difference between man and mouse. Both end up in pussy.
Confucius say: Nothing. Because he's dead!
Confucius say: OK for schoolboy to masturbate long as not against Principal.
Confucius say: Panties not best thing on earth, but next to it
Confucius say: Passionate kiss like spider web, lead to undoing of fly.
Confucius say: Pentocostal who pass out get laid in church
Confucius say: People having gift for gab know not how to wrap it up.
Confucius say: People who quote me are fools!
Confucius say: Place to look for helping hand is end of own arm.
Confucius say: Preserve wildlife - pickle a hedgehog!
Confucius say: Put rooster in freezer to get a stiff cock
Confucius say: Quit quoting me, you blubbering twit!
Confucius say: Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
Confucius say: Ring on her finger = Ring in your nose
Confucius say: Rook before you reap!
Confucius say: Rotten wood cannot be carved.
Confucius say: Sailor who gets discharged from navy leave buddies behind.
Confucius say: Secretary becomes permanent fixture when screwed on desk.
Confucius say: Show off always shown up in showdown.
Confucius say: Soldier who goes to bed horny wakes up with discharge in hand.
Confucius say: Squirrel who runs up woman's leg not find nuts.
Confucius say: Support bacteria; it's the only culture some people have!
Confucius say: The early worm has a death wish...
Confucius say: The essence of knowledge is, having it, to use it.
Confucius say: The hand that turneth the knob, opens the door.
Confucius say: Those who make love in strawberry patch have butt in jam.
Confucius say: Those who quote me are fools
Confucius say: To prevent hangover stay drunk!
Confucius say: Too darn much!
Confucius say: Virgin with thimble on finger never feel prick.
Confucius say: Virginity like balloon, one prick, all gone.
Confucius say: Wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.
Confucius say: War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left.
Confucius say: Wash your face in the morning, neck at night.
Confucius say: Watched Tandy Never Boots!
Confucius say: What you do not want done to yourself, do not do to others.
Confucius say: When baby cry, give bust in face.
Confucius say: When in doubt, whip it out
Confucius say: When lady say maybe, she mean yes.
Confucius say: When lady say no, she mean maybe.
Confucius say: When lady say yes, she no lady.
Confucius say: While others are inside sitting down, you will be outstanding.
Confucius say: Why did Confucius always speak in English?
Confucius say: Why do Chinese philosophers always try to Confucius?
Confucius say: Wife for life is better than wife for strife
Confucius say: Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
Confucius say: Woman cook carrots and peas in same pot not sanitary.
Confucius say: Woman is like jazz music, 3/4 jazz time and 1/4 rag time.
Confucius say: Woman run faster with skirt up, than Man with pants down.
Confucius say: Woman seek equality with man - no ambition.
Confucius say: Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot not sanitary!
Confucius say: Woman who dance wearing jock strap have make believe ballroom.
Confucius say: Woman who douches with vinegar have sour puss.
Confucius say: Woman who eat banana get cream in mouth
Confucius say: Woman who flies upside down always has crack up.
Confucius say: Woman who pounce on dead rooster go down on limp cock.
Confucius say: Woman who put detergent on top shelf, Jump for Joy.
Confucius say: Woman who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat-house.
Confucius say: Woman who shaves legs have no hair, by cracky.
Confucius say: Woman who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.
Confucius say: Woman who sit on judge's lap get honorable discharge.
Confucius say: Woman who slide down bannister make monkey shine.
Confucius say: Woman who spend much time on bedspring have offspring.
Confucius say: Woman who turn back on lover get screwed over.
Confucius say: Woman who wear G-string, high on crack!
Confucius say: Woman with bleached blonde hair have black hair by cracky
Confucius say: Woman with cold hands have fire under skirt.
Confucius say: Women and elephants never forget an injury.
Confucius say: Women fake orgasm, Men fake foreplay.
Confucius say: Work to become, not to acquire.
Confucius of Borg: Assimilate others who you would want to assimilate you.
Confucius say: (with cold) Man who kwitisize moduwator get node bwoke.
Confucius say: All blonde not blonde by cracky
Confucius say: All men eat, but Fu Manchu.
Confucius say: America Good Place to Put Chinese Restuarant.
Confucius say: Australia Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.
Confucius say: Baby ill-conceived in automatic car shiftless bastard.
Confucius say: Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk!
Confucius say: Before becoming master fisherman, must be master baiter.
Confucius say: Better to sleep with chicken than to choke it.
Confucius say: Bird in hand makes hard to blow nose
Confucius say: Blonde who fly upside down have crack up.
Confucius say: Boiling water is very hot!
Confucius say: Boy & girl go camping together sure to have naughty intent.
Confucius say: Boy fool with girl in wrong period get caught red handed.
Confucius say: Boy go to bed with sex problem wake up, solution in hand.
Confucius say: Boy who diddle little girl do diddly squat.
Confucius say: Boy who go to bed with sex problem wake up with solution in hand
Confucius say: Boy who play with himself pulls boner.
Confucius say: Boy with hole in pocket, feel cocky all day.
Confucius say: Cat who walk on keyboard wind up in Chinese wok!
Confucius say: Chemist who fall in acid get absorbed in work.
Confucius say: Confucius say too damn much!
Confucius say: Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
Confucius say: Do unto others what you think is funny.
Confucius say: Don't judge book by cover, but by how thick it is.
Confucius say: Don't quote me with stupid accent.
Confucius say: Even the greatest of whales is helpless in middle of desert.
Confucius say: Find old man in dark, not hard!
Confucius say: Girl at bachelor pad for snack get tidbit
Confucius say: Girl laid in tomb may soon become mummy.
Confucius say: Girl who douches with vinegar, walks around with sour pussy.
Confucius say: Girl who fly upside down have crack up.
Confucius say: Girl who go to bachelor pad for snack get tit-bit.
Confucius say: Girl who is wallflower at party is dandelion in bed.
Confucius say: Girl who lay on ground have piece on earth.
Confucius say: Girl who marry detective must kiss dick.
Confucius say: Girl who sit on brother-in-law's knee, make hard for sister.
Confucius say: Girl who sits on jockey's knee gets hot tip.
Confucius say: Girl who slides down banister nude gets splinters by crackey!
Confucius say: Girl with back to fire warming whole of her body.
Confucius say: Girl's best asset is her `lie' ability.
Confucius say: He who chases car will get exhausted.
Confucius say: He who dies with the most Taglines, wins.
Confucius say: He who eat cookies in bed, will wake up feeling crumby.
Confucius say: He who eats ice cream in car is a Sundae Driver
Confucius say: He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.
Confucius say: He who fishes in another man's well often catches crabs.
Confucius say: He who masturbates in front of cash register come into money.
Confucius say: He who pass gas in church must sit in own pew.
Confucius say: He who pull out too fast leave rubber behind.
Confucius say: He who puts face in punch bowl get punch in nose.
Confucius say: He who refuses to listen is lying.
Confucius say: He who sitteth on an upturned tack shall surely rise.
Confucius say: He who sniffs Coke, drowns.
Confucius say: He who stand on toilet is high on pot.
Confucius say: He who stands in corner with hands in pocket, feels nuts.
Confucius say: He who stick head in open window gets pane in neck.
Confucius say: He who stick head in oven gets baked bean
Confucius say: He with no taglines is deprived
Confucius say: Hockey player on ice have big stick
Confucius say: House without toilet is uncanny.
Confucius say: If chain still swinging seat will be warm.
Confucius say: If rooted in confusion, nothing will be well governed.
Confucius say: If you park, don't drink, accidents cause people
Confucius say: If you turn an oriental around, he become disoriented.
Confucius say: If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient
Confucius say: Is good to learn how to masturbate, may come in handy!
Confucius say: Is more to running BBS than finding ON.
Confucius say: Is stuffy inside fortune cookie.
Confucius say: It takes a lot of balls to make a football team.
Confucius say: It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.
Confucius say: It's OK to meet girl in park, much better to park meat in girl!
Confucius say: Janitor who clean by day clean bidet today.
Confucius say: Keeping it in family sure sound incestuous.
Confucius say: Kotex not best thing on earth, but next to best thing.
Confucius say: Lady who go camping must beware of evil intent.
Confucius say: Lady who live in glass house, dress in basement!
Confucius say: Look for helping hand on end of own arm.
Confucius say: Man and mouse alike, both end up in pussy.
Confucius say: Man kicked in testicles, is left holding bags.
Confucius say: Man should never straddle barbed wire fences.
Confucius say: Man that have sex with hole in ground have piece on earth.
Confucius say: Man trapped in pantry have butt in jam.
Confucius say: Man trapped in whore house get jerked around
Confucius say: Man who abuse his computer get bad bytes!
Confucius say: Man who argue with wife all day get no peace at night.
Confucius say: Man who buy drowned cat must pay for stinking wet pussy.
Confucius say: Man who chase cars get exhausted.
Confucius say: Man who drive like hell bound to get there!
Confucius say: Man who drop watch in whisky is wasting time.
Confucius say: Man who eat jellybean fart in technicolor.
Confucius say: Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
Confucius say: Man who eat many prunes, sit on toilet many moons.
Confucius say: Man who eats photo of father, soon spitting image of father.
Confucius say: Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
Confucius say: Man who fart in church sit in his own pew!
Confucius say: Man who fight with wife all day, get no piece at night!
Confucius say: Man who get hit by car, get that run down feeling.
Confucius say: Man who get paid pick up chick.
Confucius say: Man who go out with flat chested woman feel shallow.
Confucius say: Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake with smelly finger.
Confucius say: Man who go to bed with sex on mind wake up with solution in hand
Confucius say: Man who has hand down mans pants, not feeling himself today.
Confucius say: Man who has woman on ground has piece on earth!
Confucius say: Man who have circumcision lose a bit of foresight.
Confucius say: Man who jump off cliff jump to conclusion!
Confucius say: Man who jump through window screen, strain self.
Confucius say: Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants
Confucius say: Man who lay girl on hill not on level.
Confucius say: Man who lifts stones off woman get rocks off
Confucius say: Man who live in glass house should dress in basement.
Confucius say: Man who live in glass house With No Basement, STINKS!
Confucius say: Man who lose key to girlfriend's house get no new key.
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